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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27661388">Doctor Pool</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdyPuddinCup/pseuds/NerdyPuddinCup'>NerdyPuddinCup</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DCU (Comics), Deadpool (Comics), Doctor Who, Marvel (Comics)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Comedy, Crossover, Crossovers &amp; Fandom Fusions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:07:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,902</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27661388</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdyPuddinCup/pseuds/NerdyPuddinCup</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when the Merc with the Mouth steals the Time and Relative Dimension in Space? Well find out here. Hilarity and destruction are sure to ensue!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Doctor Pool</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wade dived behind a dumpster, breathing heavily. "Stupid Sentinels with their stupid mutant power duller." He growled to himself when suddenly the dumpster was lifted by the large machine. "Funny, you looked nothing like that in the movie." He said, looking upon the robot. Wade then got to his feet and bolted, trying his best to evade the coming fire from the Sentinel. Finally, the hunter shot under Wade, causing him to go tumbling smack dab into the door of a blue police box. Wade rubbed his head and looked at the box. "Thaaaaaank you plot device!" He said and quickly opened the door. </p><p>        Wade practically tackled his way inside to discover that it was much larger on the inside. "Oh good, saved by British Sci-fi" He said, breathing a sigh of relief. Wade looked up towards what he assumed was the controls and there stood a man with black hair, tweed jacket, and bow-tie. The man turned to the red and black spandex clad mercenary and raised a brow. The man smiled and clapped his hands. </p><p>"Well hello there! Funny I don't remember ordering a bondage slave...oh well whatever. Welcome to the TARDIS. I am the Doctor." Wade couldn't help but laugh at the joke. [Doctor? Doctor Who?] Asked his white box. [Greaaaaaaat now we gotta pay royalties. Thanks for that asshat!] Yelled his yellow box. </p><p>"Ehhhh what's up Doc?" Wade asked, causing the Doctor to chuckle. </p><p>"Well just making a little R&amp;R stop. Traveling through time and space isn't all it's cracked up to be." Wade nodded. </p><p>"Yeah I know that feel bro. Soooo why did ya let me in and junk?" </p><p>The bow tied man grinned wider. "You were in trouble, besides it doesn't really matter. Ya, see I'm going to wipe your memory of all of this. " The mercenary crossed his arms. </p><p>"Oh really now?" With that, Wade pulled out his shotgun, shot the skinny alien and tossed him out of the box. Soon after, the box came to life and was gone, leaving the Doctor to bleed out on the concrete. </p><p> Wade decided, since he had no idea how to run this damned thing he'd might as well make himself comfortable. He stripped down to his underwear and plopped down on his ass. He rubbed his hands excitedly because before him was a table of chimichangas. "Oh TARDY you shouldn't have!" He said with a laugh. Quickly he devoured the delicious microwavable burritos and allowed the hilarious bodily functions to ensue. Once his had emptied his system of all gases he laid back in his chair thinking. [Man this is boring. We need some ladies!] Said his yellow box, [Ladies? What ladies would want to hang with us?] Retorted the white box. [Helloooooo have you ever seen Doctor Who? That skinny, bow-tie wearing pansy gets all the ladies! Just gotta show up in the box and boom! The panties come off.] Wade sighed and shook his head. "I do need someone quickly or else I'm going to be driven mad by you bastards!" [Oh shut up and read a comic!] </p><p>        Wade did just that. He reached into his suit and pulled out his comics, throwing a good handful back on the ground but stopping at one. [Oooooo she's hot who's she?] Asked the yellow box. "You live in my head and you don't know my biggest comic book crush?" Wade asked surprised. [Oh just shut up and get on with the exposition!] "Fine! This is Harley Quinn the super hot sidekick of the Joker. Though he treats her like total crap she still sticks by him because she loves him." [She sounds fucked up.] "Yeah that's why she's perfect!" [Well the Doctor said you could travel through space and time right? Maybe you can hop a ride to find her?] Said the white box. Wade thought for a moment and lept to his feet, "I've got a better idea! I'll use Tardy here to find a universe with Harley and meet her!" [...Nice thinking...] "Shut up white box." Wade chuckled and approached the controls. "Now, how the fuck do I pilot this thing?" </p><p>        "All right boys this is it! Hehehe" chuckled the Clown Prince of Crime. His two mercenaries nodded silently. </p><p>"Mista J, I dunno why you keep these goons around. They ain't no fun!" Harley said, kissing her Puddin' on the cheek. </p><p>"Well it's really quite simple Harley, they kill almost as well as I do so why not? Besides, we could always give them a better sense of humor later." He grinned wickedly. The Joker turned to Harley now and put his hand on her shoulder and pulled her into an embrace "Now Harley, go be a dear and load the car with the guns." He said, kissed her and then pushed her away. Harley obeyed and awaited her Puddin' and two assassins. They had all been invited by their rival Scarecrow to meet up and negotiate at the Ace Chemical plant. Crane surely must have thought he was quite funny with that suggestion. The Joker for once wasn't laughing as he came out with his two boys and hopped in the car, forcing Harley to sit in the back as they made their way. </p><p>        Wade bashed his head on the control panel. "Dammit Tardy! Do something!" Finally giving up he just rested on it for awhile. Then, the room began to shake and the sound of the TARDIS coming to life began. "How in the...?" [Well the TARDIS does have a link with the Doctor and your mind is constantly fluxing due to the C word.] "Yeah that show messed with my brain" [Not the show you idiot. But I digress, you must have matched the Doctor's mental frequency for moment and the TARDIS connected.] [NEEEEEEEEEEEEERD] "YEAH! NERD!" [Both of you can just go straight to hell] "You'd be joining us remember." [Please don't remind me.] "Now, let's see where we are." He said, looking at the different screens around him. "Gotham City! Universe: 5011. Neat!" [So what's the plan?] "Well white box..whoa!" Suddenly, the TARDIS began to shake and come to life again. [We're moving again...] "Great, where now!" </p><p>        Joker, the boys, and Harley arrived at the plant. The Joker concealed his knife and comic pistol, his boys carried duel shotguns, and Harley brought her rocket launcher just in case. As to be expected, the place was crawling with Crane's goons. They were let in by one of these goons and show to where Crane was. "Well hello Craney-poo! So nice of you to throw this little shindig for us!" The Joker said laughing. Crane tightened his fist. </p><p>"For once in your life be serious. This was between us is tearing this city apart. That isn't good for business." He said, trying to get hold of the situation. </p><p>"Alrighty, what are your demands then Craney-poo?" Crane then let out a dark chuckle and quickly ripped one of the cords on his glove. </p><p>"My demands are for you and your lot to die! Your chaotic nature is simply too unstable. Be engulfed in fear!" The gas filled the room. The Joker fell to his knees gasping, as did Harley and the boys. Scarecrow turned to one of his men and commanded, "Once they stop screaming. Kill them." With that he began to leave only to feel a sharp pain in his back. He fell to the ground and pulled a knife. He turned and saw Joker standing over him. </p><p>"You really thought I wouldn't see this coming? I'm insulted Craney-poo" He said darkly. "Kill em." He said to his boys. With precision they shot down Crane's goons, one after another even through the smoke. But they were outnumbered and eventually gunned down themselves. "No! That was good money I spent on them!" Joker yelled. He turned to see Crane was gone. </p><p>        Joker and Harley managed to make their way to the roof to find Crane was already making a quick escape. Joker growled and barked "HARLEY!" She nodded and pulled out her bazooka. </p><p>"Don't worry! I got it puddin'!" She said and fired, hitting the left side of Crane's boat. This caused him to spiral and crash into a nearby warehouse. </p><p>"After him Harley! We can't let him escape!"  The TARDIS finally came to a stop. Wade looked over at the monitor to see a bunch of dead bodies surrounding the box. </p><p>"Whoa, why did it bring me here?" [It must have sensed the danger and brought us here. Little too late it seems.] "Psh whatever. Come on I wanna find my lil jester!" He said, pulling at random levers. </p><p>        Joker and Harley made their way to the warehouse. Crane was cornered and knew it He breathed heavily and growled. "You will destroy this city Joker!" He said with a roar. </p><p>"Well, not like you're going to be around to see me do it anyways." He said, giving a nod to Harley. With that she fired a round right between his eyes. Him falling dead to the ground. Joker glared at Harley. "Why did you do that!? I wanted you to shoot his legs! That was too easy!" Harley shivered a little, she feared when Joker got like this </p><p>"I-I-I'm s-sorry Puddin' you made it sound like ya wanted me ta kill em..." Joker grabbed her by her hair and marched away. </p><p>"I didn't even get my punchline!" Joker yelled. </p><p>        Again the TARDIS shook and heaved. When it stopped Wade looked out at the monitor again. "What the hell, not again. All I want is to find Harley! Why do I care about this guy? He'll just be cast in ANOTHER Christopher Nolan film. Jeez."  </p><p>"Mista J please! Ya hurtin' me!" Harley cried out as she was dragged away. </p><p>"Oh not yet I haven't toots!" Joker said, grabbing a rusty pipe from the ground and striking her in the head with it. As soon as it hit her she fell onto the floor unconscious. As this happened, a blue police box slowly appeared in the room. "Oh what now?" The Joker growled. </p><p>        Wade looked out on the monitor and saw Harley lying unconscious and Joker standing there with a blood covered pipe. Rage grew inside Wade as he looked at this. He clenched his fists and from seemingly nowhere Wade pulled out a chaingun and kicked open the door. "Saw hello to my outdated movie reference! You babe beating bastard!" He yelled as he unloaded onto the Clown Prince. Even when he was down Wade kept firing until the Joker was nothing more than a puddle of meat and blood. Wade threw the chaingun to the ground with a thud and allowed himself to cool down. [Duuude...nice.] </p><p>        Now that he was calm, Wade walked over to Harley's unconscious body. He saw the bruise on her head slowly reached out to caress her cheek but then quickly pulled it back realizing how creepy that was. [So what are you gonna do?] [Well he can't just leave her here.] [Yeah but she's unconscious, that's basically kidnapping] [Better than the alternative] "For once I agree with you white box." Wade said quietly He knelt down and lifted her up and bringing her into the TARDIS. He washed her face of the makeup so he could treat her wound. Once she was all patched up Wade pulled the lever and off the TARDIS went.</p>
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